My Kind of A-ha Moment

Over the years I thought that my sister in law and I had a decent friendship.  Not necessarily know all the dirt and still accept each other kind of friendship, but something more than surface level "hi, how's the weather".  From overlooking every accomodation made to meet her/her family's needs, waiting 4 hours to celebrate Christmas because she *just* couldn't get out of bed, to a variety of things over the past 10 years – it's been all about her and it's becoming ridiculous. 

Add to that my calling her out (re: my miscarriage) and yet another bow out from attending one of our (J, K and I) get togethers, in addition to not responding to any emails, I'm finally getting a good idea of where I stand with her.  In relation to sister in law's life, I am inconsequential.  I daresay, she may have similar feelings toward J and K, but I can only speak from my perspective.  Apparantely, I'm slow on the uptake (that's another post). 

I don't want to incite conflict and prefer to just go with the flow, seeing smiles instead of grimaces.  I will deal with conflict when it comes, albeit not very gracefully, and would rather just say what needs to be said, get on and over whatever it is.  So it is with some difficulty that I accept where I stand with sister in law; I wanted to get to know her more and have "relatable" experiences, etc, blah-blah-blah, but that just isn't going to happen.  I will admit that I'm starting to strongly dislike her.  With each passing day, I'm finding more faults and things I don't agree with that she does or doesn't do – it's making me mental. 

In addition, it's not fair making J and K bend to her/her family's needs.  The most recent event was K's birthday party.  She requested making cupcakes to bring because her daughter has a peanut allergy.  I was fine with it because we certainly didn't want anything bad to happen, but I kept the order for K's birthday cake anyway.  Then, 3 hours before the party she said they were sick and did I really want them to come?  This pissed me off on many levels:

1. She was bringing the cupcakes – if I hadn't kept our previous order for K's birthday cake, he wouldn't have had anything!

2. She puts it on me to decide whether to willingly subject K to her sick kids!  Now, I've reconciled myself to the fact that K is around other kids at preschool and can pick up a million germs while there – that is an unintended side-affect.  However, by her asking if I'm okay with her bringing her kids over who are knowingly sick – well what the fuck?!  Yes, please bring them over so that I can knowingly and willingly infect my son with god-knows-what.      

3. Three hours before the party she decides to call!  I really shouldn't be surprised by this – it's quite common for her and her husband to wait until the last minute.

4. On K's birthday, when it should be all about him – it becomes all about her.

I get it now. 

Expression

Looking for Mother's Day cards.  Choosing one for my mother-in-law is easy enough, however I've yet to find one expressing my gratitude towards my own mother (who taught me what NOT to do in life).

Follow-Up

Sitting in DR. office waiting for follow up appt.  Baby show on the TV, annoying the hell out of me.  I would like to spray the screen with silly string to cover up all the f-ing cuteness. 

I was hoping that this appt would be fast.  I don't need to be surrounded by pregnant women and baby shows right now.  Seems I have to suffer as Dr. is running behind.

Armour Courtesy of Doc Martin

Preparing for Easter with the extended family.  The grandparents will be easy enough to get along with, however a couple in-laws will be incredibly taxing.
Good thing I put on my Doc Martins.....they're incredibly handy for intimidation.

Seriously!

Dear News Channel,
Even if I hadn't gone through the events of the past weeks, I still wouldn't want to hear the specific details of an abortion doctor's practice.  Does anyone REALLY want the gory details?!
There's shock value to get people's attention and then just poor fucking judgement.

Vibe (no, not the car)

Ever walked into a place and instantly get a vibe that things are just off?  Whether it's the people, the furniture, whatever…..it's just "off"?  When I walked into work this morning, that's how it was -  

 

"Ultra b*tchy" (for the women)

"Hey you kids, get off my lawn old fart" (for the men). 

 

Both of which would produce a diamond in two weeks if you shoved a piece of coal up their ass (thank you, Ferris Bueller/John Hughes)

 

This has been sustained by everyone here all day long and I'm trying to just stay out of the flippin' way.  Sure, I have my moments of Wicked-Witch-of-the-West-ness, but rarely do they last all damn day! 

Tables Are Turned

Had relatives over for K's birthday party, one of them being my mother. During a conversation about updating light fixtures, mother made the comment, "you have a titty light in the kitchen" (it's a dome style light). Now, keep in mind K was at the table and heard the comment as well as the other grandparents. I quickly responded with a stink-eye look and "not in front of young ears" directed right at my mother. Seriously! She's a fucking grandmother (granted, only birthday and Christmas)! Her response, well it was as classy as she is; a snotty "yes ma'am". You know, that is fucking right! In my husband and I's house, it is our way or get the fuck out! I'm sick of her woe is me stories or incredibly inappropriate comments infront of a 5 year old.

And as for her response to me, it might as well have been "yes, bitch" but I don't care. She is going to realize that I'm not going to tolerate crap like that. If she doesn't like it, that is me standing up to her, then she doesn't need to come over. I'm not trying to keep her out of K's life, but at the same time the people you surround yourself with make you or break you and truthfully, she does more breaking.

She's also the only one in the family that doesn't know about loosing the baby. She would twist it around into something she lost, the grandchild *she* lost, not what J and I lost and the grief we are working through. There would be no condolences, it would all be about her.

So, if you're keeping track we have one relative that doesn't know and a couple other relatives that I called out yesterday.

I think I may change the ringtone on my phone to the Wicked Witch of the West theme because frankly, I'm all sorts of agitated.......