rock.paper.blog

Moving

2011-06-16T12:36:00.001-05:00

I'm moving this blog, so if you want to follow me send an email.

Meeting the TIV!

2011-06-05T12:57:00.002-05:00

We are fans of the tornado chasers and have followed the TIV and it's team for the past few seasons. It was fantastic to see it up close and to meet the team!

Well,

2011-06-01T12:58:00.001-05:00

Keeping up with my "5 things" list has admittedly been hit and miss. I feel that I'm repeating myself and wonder if that takes away from the purpose I originally intended. Or is it helping me to realize what is truly important.....?

For today, as of 12:47 pm, 5 things I'm grateful for/make me happy are:
1. That J, K and I lived to tell the tale of "The Ick 2011"
2. Taking K to his first carnival and having a blast (pictures to come)
3. Having a job to go to (which allows me to forget about the laundry that "The Ick 2011" produced or the mercy our bathrooms are begging for)
4. Owning a home , even though it unnerves me the responsibilities/uncertainties that come with it
5. "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

The Ick: Next Round

2011-05-31T14:32:00.001-05:00

With 2 additional players!

The three of us are still in our pj's, sleeping on and off throughout the day and the blinds have remained pulled. So far, the bathrooms have been spared for the past few hours.....so far.....

The Ick

2011-05-29T19:40:00.001-05:00

It's good that we didn't have anything planned for this weekend. K-man has a touch of the ick that hit last night & hasn't gone away.
It wasn't a total loss. We had a blast at the carnival!

That about sums it up

2011-05-25T12:59:00.001-05:00

"If you're pretty crazy then you're in good company because the human race as a whole is out of its goddamn head." Albert Ellis

Yeah.....

5 Things

2011-05-24T20:58:00.001-05:00

Very basic 5 things for today:
1. J & K
2. Being employed
3. Having a home
4. Having a decent car
5. Seeing one more day

It wasn't a terrible day, but just not good.

Perception

2011-05-24T15:11:00.002-05:00

If it will get you off my back, I will play the "weeping child" and spill my guts

At least that is what you'll think.

Ugh

2011-05-23T13:33:00.002-05:00

A certain sadness and disappointment came over me this afternoon. I learned that a co-worker became a grandparent again. While I wish their family the best, it's difficult to hear the joyous story being told to everyone else in the office.

J and I had earmarked this weekend to announce my now defunct pregnancy.......

5 Things

2011-05-23T12:53:00.001-05:00

1. Figuring out the awesome flickr widgit (thank you Anna)
2. Being above ground (always a nice start to the day)
3. As always, J & K
4. Speaking of J, he didn't think less of me (and actually gave me a thumbs up) when I requested that killjoy sister in law, et al. not be invited to the "thank goodness this masters degree bs is finished" get together in a few weeks.
5. Being employed (don't want to bite the hand that feeds, even if a few co-workers just need to flippin' retire with their old fart attitudes)

5 Things

2011-05-21T22:25:00.001-05:00

1. No rapture
2. Working AC
3. J&K
4. Being employed
5. Possibly finding makeup that won't cause me to break out (we'll see after a week or so).

2011-05-21T09:46:00.001-05:00

I think this is hilarious!
My sister in law, not so much. HA!

5 Things

2011-05-20T18:48:00.001-05:00

1. Being employed
2. Having a decent car (even if it is 10 years old)
3. Ability to have K take swimming and ice skating lessons
4. Being relatively healthy (there's 20 pounds I need to loose)
5. Thisclose to being finished with my Masters degree

2011-05-19T20:41:00.006-05:00

I’ve decided to expand on the idea from yesterday’s “Regroup” post to include not only five things that I’m grateful for, but what makes me happy/smile or is just helping me to get through the day. They are also not in any particular order.

For today:

1.

2. J and K

3. Pictures my son draws.

According to K, this is me in the house and the black spot on my head is my brain.
(Hey! I have a brain! Who would’ve thunk it!)

4. The book, “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him" by Sheldon Kopp. I’m only three pages into this, so there’s no book report ready. From what I can tell, it’s more about relying on myself to work through the bumps in life versus the latest guru.

5. Breathing

REGROUP

2011-05-18T18:25:00.001-05:00

I realize that what I'm about to write may seem goofy, especially since I'm an adult and should be beyond this. I'm going to write (5) things I'm grateful for, everyday; a daily affirmation if you will. I need to do this, for my own sanity. While that's a bit cliché, the recurring theme in recent days has been getting caught up in everyone else's "world" that I neglect my own (specifically J, K and I). It's not that I don't care about others, but the concern is that my focus has too long been on other individuals and their impact on me; mostly in direct relation to sister-in-law and her antics. <<in the best Cheech & Chong voice I can muster>> The negativity is bringin' me down, man.>> My hope is that by reminding myself of what I have, the "slap in the face" lows won't knock my ass down. So, with that…..

1. I'm grateful I woke up this morning – even on bad days, being above ground is a good thing.

2. I really like my new mobile phone. It was worth the extra $$$ to upgrade before the "eligibility date"

3. I like my job and (after 1+ years) they like me.

4. I love my husband and son. Even on days when they make me batsh*t, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Besides, I'm sure they feel the same way about me on occasion.

5. I'm very happy to be a homeowner! After spending my childhood growing up in apartments, I never thought I'd accomplish it. Along with that, I'm glad that K will have more than I did.

My Kind of A-ha Moment

2011-05-18T12:24:00.001-05:00

Over the years I thought that my sister in law and I had a decent friendship. Not necessarily know all the dirt and still accept each other kind of friendship, but something more than surface level "hi, how's the weather". From overlooking every accomodation made to meet her/her family's needs, waiting 4 hours to celebrate Christmas because she *just* couldn't get out of bed, to a variety of things over the past 10 years – it's been all about her and it's becoming ridiculous.

Add to that my calling her out (re: my miscarriage) and yet another bow out from attending one of our (J, K and I) get togethers, in addition to not responding to any emails, I'm finally getting a good idea of where I stand with her. In relation to sister in law's life, I am inconsequential. I daresay, she may have similar feelings toward J and K, but I can only speak from my perspective. Apparantely, I'm slow on the uptake (that's another post).

I don't want to incite conflict and prefer to just go with the flow, seeing smiles instead of grimaces. I will deal with conflict when it comes, albeit not very gracefully, and would rather just say what needs to be said, get on and over whatever it is. So it is with some difficulty that I accept where I stand with sister in law; I wanted to get to know her more and have "relatable" experiences, etc, blah-blah-blah, but that just isn't going to happen. I will admit that I'm starting to strongly dislike her. With each passing day, I'm finding more faults and things I don't agree with that she does or doesn't do – it's making me mental.

In addition, it's not fair making J and K bend to her/her family's needs. The most recent event was K's birthday party. She requested making cupcakes to bring because her daughter has a peanut allergy. I was fine with it because we certainly didn't want anything bad to happen, but I kept the order for K's birthday cake anyway. Then, 3 hours before the party she said they were sick and did I really want them to come? This pissed me off on many levels:

1. She was bringing the cupcakes – if I hadn't kept our previous order for K's birthday cake, he wouldn't have had anything!

2. She puts it on me to decide whether to willingly subject K to her sick kids! Now, I've reconciled myself to the fact that K is around other kids at preschool and can pick up a million germs while there – that is an unintended side-affect. However, by her asking if I'm okay with her bringing her kids over who are knowingly sick – well what the fuck?! Yes, please bring them over so that I can knowingly and willingly infect my son with god-knows-what.

3. Three hours before the party she decides to call! I really shouldn't be surprised by this – it's quite common for her and her husband to wait until the last minute.

4. On K's birthday, when it should be all about him – it becomes all about her.

I get it now.

Expression

2011-05-01T08:53:00.001-05:00

Looking for Mother's Day cards. Choosing one for my mother-in-law is easy enough, however I've yet to find one expressing my gratitude towards my own mother (who taught me what NOT to do in life).

Follow-Up

2011-04-28T13:35:00.001-05:00

Sitting in DR. office waiting for follow up appt. Baby show on the TV, annoying the hell out of me. I would like to spray the screen with silly string to cover up all the f-ing cuteness.

I was hoping that this appt would be fast. I don't need to be surrounded by pregnant women and baby shows right now. Seems I have to suffer as Dr. is running behind.

Armour Courtesy of Doc Martin

2011-04-24T08:39:00.001-05:00

Preparing for Easter with the extended family. The grandparents will be easy enough to get along with, however a couple in-laws will be incredibly taxing.
Good thing I put on my Doc Martins.....they're incredibly handy for intimidation.

Seriously!

2011-04-21T21:13:00.001-05:00

Dear News Channel,
Even if I hadn't gone through the events of the past weeks, I still wouldn't want to hear the specific details of an abortion doctor's practice. Does anyone REALLY want the gory details?!
There's shock value to get people's attention and then just poor fucking judgement.

Vibe (no, not the car)

2011-04-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

Ever walked into a place and instantly get a vibe that things are just off? Whether it's the people, the furniture, whatever…..it's just "off"? When I walked into work this morning, that's how it was -

"Ultra b*tchy" (for the women)

"Hey you kids, get off my lawn old fart" (for the men).

Both of which would produce a diamond in two weeks if you shoved a piece of coal up their ass (thank you, Ferris Bueller/John Hughes)

This has been sustained by everyone here all day long and I'm trying to just stay out of the flippin' way. Sure, I have my moments of Wicked-Witch-of-the-West-ness, but rarely do they last all damn day!

Tables Are Turned

2011-04-17T21:18:00.002-05:00

Had relatives over for K's birthday party, one of them being my mother. During a conversation about updating light fixtures, mother made the comment, "you have a titty light in the kitchen" (it's a dome style light). Now, keep in mind K was at the table and heard the comment as well as the other grandparents. I quickly responded with a stink-eye look and "not in front of young ears" directed right at my mother. Seriously! She's a fucking grandmother (granted, only birthday and Christmas)! Her response, well it was as classy as she is; a snotty "yes ma'am". You know, that is fucking right! In my husband and I's house, it is our way or get the fuck out! I'm sick of her woe is me stories or incredibly inappropriate comments infront of a 5 year old.

And as for her response to me, it might as well have been "yes, bitch" but I don't care. She is going to realize that I'm not going to tolerate crap like that. If she doesn't like it, that is me standing up to her, then she doesn't need to come over. I'm not trying to keep her out of K's life, but at the same time the people you surround yourself with make you or break you and truthfully, she does more breaking.

She's also the only one in the family that doesn't know about loosing the baby. She would twist it around into something she lost, the grandchild *she* lost, not what J and I lost and the grief we are working through. There would be no condolences, it would all be about her.

So, if you're keeping track we have one relative that doesn't know and a couple other relatives that I called out yesterday.

I think I may change the ringtone on my phone to the Wicked Witch of the West theme because frankly, I'm all sorts of agitated.......

Called Out

2011-04-16T15:12:00.001-05:00

Conviently, and as the usual practice goes, same relative from yesterday's post backed out of coming to K's Bday party today at the last minute, claiming sickness. Interestingly enough, she didn't mention anything about feeling unwell yesterday.....

So I called her out about knowing she is aware of what happened with baby and that people don't need to walk on eggshells around me because of it.
Frankly, I'm pissed off about it. It makes me feel like I don't mean shit and that my grief is inconsequential to anyone, even some family members! I need to feel acknowledged, damnit, not ignored.
We'll see if relative has enough spine to respond.

Empty

2011-04-15T17:46:00.001-05:00

After spending the past 3 weeks wondering what was going on with baby #2, had first prenatal appt with ultrasound.
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no baby.....
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Spent this week in surgery and then wear a brave face while attempting to face the world. Relatives know and only 2 of them have offered condolences. Spoke with one relative today that knows and I get nothing - as though nothing happened; as though I don't matter.

I didn't necessarily expect to be showered with attention, nor do I want that, however it would be nice to have our loss acknowledged. After all, she gets a fucking card if she has the sniffles.....

So...

2010-12-12T20:56:00.001-06:00

Is this thing on?
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Testing mobile blogging
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well, what dya know!

2010-06-10T21:51:00.002-05:00

blogger is finally stepping up and offering new design options. to celebrate I may actually make good on updating this more often!

that is . . .
after 4 loads of laundry are done
homework is caught up
the dining room table is cleaned off
my car is washed
pictures are downloaded and backed up
my closet is organized
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where is this year going???

2010-04-13T21:54:00.002-05:00

whew! it seems like yesterday when I posted last but it's been 3 weeks! time is flying by and I'm hanging on by it's coattails.

another thing that makes me wonder if I have my head on is the fact that K will be 4 in just a few weeks! 4! this time next year we'll be thinking about kindergarten and all the fun that entails. geesh!

a year lowatus and handful of blogs later.....

2010-03-31T21:36:00.002-05:00

i've decided that this is the blog for me. that being said, the header will change (when I get more than two mintues truly to myself - not counting potty breaks).

anyway, things have changed for the better, including a new job, and i look forward to not being dragged down by belittling eye-rolls or ignored by co-workers. it's a much better place and i'm enjoying it. plus, i get business cards! woot!

Parents of the Year

2009-03-24T19:51:00.002-05:00

In his infinite cute toddler-ness, K surprised us with "that's what I'm talkin' about." Of course, what follows should seal our nomination as Parents of the Year.

Sleep?

2009-03-16T20:53:00.001-05:00

Say it with me now...

WTH?

This N That

2009-03-03T15:02:00.005-06:00

If only every day was as productive as this:
After getting an early morning call from our daycare provider saying that she was unable to open today due to her daughter possibly having pink-eye, I called off work (but made sure I was accessible if needed).
Then, K and I watched Bob the Builder a few dozen times. After getting antsy, he helped me clean out the refrigerator (and not just move the leftovers around - actually cleaned it!) while feeding the cats more food than they've ever seen in their life.
Once that was done, we went to get the oil changed in my car; look for posters/pictures of planets and spaceships and then went to the children's museum. We played there forever and had a blast! On the way home, we filled up with gas and got a desperately needed car wash.

Now, K is at nap and I'm typing this, still amazed at how much I've accomplished.

I did learn something today, though, about myself as a mom. At the children's museum, there were some older kids (5-6 year olds roughly) and there were a couple times that they would try and push their way in to where K was playing. Well I pushed back! Not literally, but I made sure to let them know they needed to let him (K) have his turn.

Another instance is when I was sitting on the edge of a large play area with cars and K was playing pretty well with 2 other boys. Well, all the sudden K came running toward me red faced and upset. I asked what happened and found out that one of the other boys took the car K was playing with away from him. Well, K and I went right back over and found the car that K was playing with and I told K to take it back and he did. I then sat a bit closer to the "action" in case it should happen again, but thankfully there were no other issues.

So there you go, I'm the mom who will even the score if my son has been cheated. I won't be a b*tch about it, but I'm not going to sit back and let older kids push K around either. You've been warned; and I mean that in the nicest way. :-)

Ta-da! I'm off to collapse infront of the TV for an hour or so because, honestly, after all that we've done today - I freakin' deserve it!

All Talk

2009-02-16T19:53:00.002-06:00

Remember all that happy talk about going potty, etc, etc? Well you can just forget it. Mr. K has decided that he wants no part of it anymore. So were back to the beginning of bribing him to simply sit on the potty with stickers. Heck, I've even tried bribing with money - hmpf! The nerve I must have!

Part of me wants to just let him grow up in diapers and when the kids at school make fun of him, maybe THEN he'll get it. The other part of me says to put him in regular underwear and if he p*es or p*ops in it without even trying to make his way to the potty, then he stays wet for a while. Maybe he'll begin to dislike it enough to take care of business on the freaking potty!

I understand it takes boys a while longer to learn to use the potty, etc, blah, blah, blah - but Mr. K takes it to a whole new level. He flat out refuses. He knows when he has to go; knows exactly what to do, and doesn't even bother to try and go to the potty. What blows my mind is that he is sooooo particular about putting things away "just so", eating on a certain plate: if he had a motto it would be "everything has it's place and a place for everything". You'd think he'd be just as particular with staying dry/clean.

So.......

I Just Want To...

2009-02-02T21:19:00.002-06:00

Potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the time!

Yes, we are thismuch closer to a potty-trained K. Two times in one night is like a freakin' record! We'll take what we can get, whether it's sitting down or standing up.

French Fry Incident

2009-02-01T16:14:00.004-06:00

It began on the drive home from Fast Food Joint.

K has been sick and is now starting to feel better (ie: keep food in his stomach as opposed to the couch and carpet) and as a treat for being such a trooper we went to get him "fries and drink".
On the way home, his tiny stomach growling, K was desperate for a fry. They were still way too hot to hold onto, much less eat. Being the ingenious man that he is, J picked out a fry from the bag and held it outside of the driver's side window to cool off. Once it was satisfactory, he gave it to K to eat and all was well with the world.
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You can't tell me that after visualizing this that you didn't chuckle, even if it was a little bit.

Crush

2009-01-29T20:45:00.003-06:00

Each day we get notes from preschool that highlight how K's day went.
On today's note, Pre-school Teacher N wrote that K and A (girl) were playing outside together and K gave her a kiss on the cheek. This is the same girl that K occassionally shoves, hits and generally tries to rough-house with.

It must be wuuuuvvv! LOL.

Game On!

2009-01-27T20:15:00.002-06:00

And More...

2009-01-26T20:14:00.000-06:00

K has officially gone p** in the potty. Once. We'll take what we can get.

Perhaps More To Come

2009-01-24T19:05:00.006-06:00

We have p**p in the potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, it probably slid out of his b*tt involuntarily more than any effort on K's part (due to a cold virus reaking havoc on him) - but hey, a p**p is a p**p and we celebrate ANYTHING going into the potty right now!

Mantra

2009-01-19T20:14:00.000-06:00

Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful

Some things have been brought to my attention (within my extended family) and I yearn for the same incredibly amazing fortune that I see around me; that seems to elude me.
And I'm forced to remember what I'm mentioned a mere 2 weeks ago - to NOT try to keep up with everyone else (because let's face it, my emotions can't keep up, much less my credit cards) and to be grateful for what I do have because it could be soooo much worse!

Thus is my mantra and I have to keep repeating it right now, because I feel slighted. I feel that the more I work and strive, the more someone else reaps the blessings.

Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful Be grateful

You Haven't Made It Until...

2009-01-14T20:11:00.003-06:00

a silverware set is named after you:

B-e-h-i-n-d

2009-01-10T15:35:00.003-06:00

And not the kind you're thinking of!

I need to say a proper "thank you" to DD for the christmas card that she sent to little ol' me. Although, I think you were waaaaay too generous with your comments. :-)

Oh, and you read correctly; I typed christmas card.

See, I told you I was behind. I would've said I'm late, but then there'd be the whole converstation:
late?
yes.
late?
yes.
how late is late?
(you see where I'm going with this, I hope)

On a rainy Saturday afternoon, we went to see:

2009-01-03T22:12:00.013-06:00

Big Trains!

Little Trains!

Inside Trains!

More Inside Trains!

Next to Big Train Engines!

Train Cabooses!

Train Bell!

Streetcars!

Mommy Being Funny in a Train!

More Little Trains!

Whew! What a day!

Freakin' Snow, Already!

2009-01-02T21:32:00.000-06:00

Hug the Moon

2009-01-02T07:00:00.001-06:00

Looking out the bedroom window, still pre-dawn:

K: Mommy, look at the moon!

S: Oh, I see it.

K: I want up to see it.

I pick him up and we move closer to the window, the moon shining full, bright and close.

K: I want to hug it.

S: Lets do that. Put your arms out wide and give it a hug.

Little arms open, his body leans forward a bit, he hugs the moon.

S: Blow it a kiss

Smooch! We blow kisses to the moon.

Guess

2009-01-01T00:45:00.000-06:00

iCarly
Drake & Josh
Sponge Bob Squarepants

Can you guess what the channel of choice is in our home? Can you guess who watches these shows (& it's not who you'd think)?

To The Man Who Past Me On My Run

2009-01-01T00:30:00.000-06:00

While I don't know who you are and you have no idea who I am, when you smiled at me and gave your "Bravo" clap as I was huffing and puffing out the last steps of my jog - thank you.
There was a sincerity about the way you did it that, well, it was just nice.

In The Midst

2009-01-01T00:15:00.000-06:00

These past few months, I've come to the realization that I've been trying to live up to other people's expectations. From the camera I buy, the books I read, to where I shop. It's been all about being/having the right thing. I can't keep up. It makes me miserable. Not to mention, the expectations change every week.

So, I'm in the midst of not giving a damn and just doing what's right for me and my family. I'm not even talking about my in-laws or extended family - just J, K and I.

It's a long time coming and I haven't mastered the art of not giving a f*ck quite yet, but I'm getting there. And I'm getting happier about it.

Why, You Ask?

2009-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

When I lived on my own I relished being able to decorate my apartment any way I wanted to:
Move the couch? Why not!
Change the red curtains to blue? Sure!
String white christmas lights across the ceiling? What ambiance!

Over the years of being married and having a child, I've had to calm my inner "Change it all!" Since I can't move furniture or change the entire color scheme of the bathrooms on a whim, my only respite is my blog.

So, here we go for the new year.